As I Go...

I'm writing this on July 12, 2012. On this exact day, 10 years ago, I walked down the aisle in my church and committed to a life dedicated to missions. In that moment, I had no idea what that would look like: where I would serve, who I would meet, or how I would minister.

10 years later, I’m still not sure.

Here’s what I do know:

1.       Every time I hear a song about the nations worshipping, my heart flies to new heights.

2.       Seeing pictures of children red and yellow, black and white gives me an inexplicable joy and longing to see them face to face.

3.       My favorite church services are the ones when missionaries come and share.

4.       I am serving the people of Blytheville, Arkansas, and they need Jesus, too.

For me, from a very young age I knew that I would live my life serving God – not just with my extra time, but with every part of me. I knew that I would be serving God in vocational ministry. And I know that God will use my life and obedience in a missional way.

Sometimes people think that because you’re married, you know exactly where your life is headed and have everything together. That is simply not true. My husband and I talk at least once a week about what God might be doing through us and where He is leading us. God has blessed me with a husband who shares the same passions as I do – music and missions, and the desire to serve God through both. But that doesn’t make our future any more clear. It just means we’re in it together.

I spend a lot of time here telling other Christians about missions, inspiring them to go themselves. But one of my biggest fears is that I will never “go.” It’s probably a silly fear, because I’m “going” right now. I’m serving the nations by serving in my nation. But I still have a terrible fear that I will never be able to go serve God anywhere else, and I hate that. But my incredibly wise mother brought something to my attention one day: If I go somewhere else, who will be here sharing missionaries’ stories and lighting fires in the hearts of future missionaries? Who will be here educating Christians about the 1.68 billion people who have never heard the name of Jesus? If not me, then who?

We all struggle with our calling at some point in our lives. That seems to be obvious. But it’s not so easy to take that in when you’re the one struggling. Take some time this week to seek God’s will in your life as a missionary. Take Romans 10:14 to heart and find those who are waiting for you to tell them.